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Só abra se entender inglês: Hu´s on First

Tópico em 'Atualidades e Generalidades' iniciado por Tauraherion, 7 Dez 2002.

  1. Tauraherion

    Tauraherion The eyes of truth

    Calma, não se desesperem... são dois textos aqui em baixo e não um gigante
    Quem entende o básico do inglês vai conseguir rir com essa "piada"...
    mas acreditem, se tiverem saco pra ler vai compensar...eu passei uns 10 minutos rindo depois que acabou...fora o que eu ri durante :mrgreen:

    Hu's on First, By James Sherman

    (We take you now to the Oval Office.)

    George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?

    Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China .

    George: Great. Lay it on me.

    Condi: Hu is the new leader of China

    George: That's what I want to know.

    Condi: That's what I'm telling you.

    George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China ?

    Condi: Yes.

    George: I mean the fellow's name.

    Condi: Hu.

    George: The guy in China .

    Condi: Hu.

    George: The new leader of China .

    Condi: Hu.

    George: The Chinaman!

    Condi: Hu is leading China .

    George: Now whaddya' asking me for?

    Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.

    George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?

    Condi: That's the man's name.

    George: That's who's name?

    Condi: Yes.

    George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?

    Condi: Yes, sir.

    George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the MiddleEast .

    Condi: That's correct.

    George: Then who is in China?

    Condi: Yes, sir.

    George: Yassir is in China?

    Condi: No, sir.

    George: Then who is?

    Condi: Yes, sir.

    George: Yassir?

    Condi: No, sir.

    George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China . Getme the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.

    Condi: Kofi?

    George: No, thanks.

    Condi: You want Kofi?

    George: No.

    Condi: You don't want Kofi.

    George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.

    Condi: Yes, sir.

    George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.

    Condi: Kofi?

    George: Milk! Will you please make the call?

    Condi: And call who?

    George: Who is the guy at the U.N?

    Condi: Hu is the guy in China .

    George: Will you stay out of China?!

    Condi: Yes, sir.

    George: And stay out of the Middle East ! Just get me the guy at the U.N.

    Condi: Kofi.

    George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.

    (Condi picks up the phone.)

    Condi: Rice, here.

    George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should send some to the guy in China . And the Middle East . Can you get Chinese food in the Middle East?

    :mrgreen: :mrgreen: aqui começa o segundo texto :mrgreen: :mrgreen:


    Here's a different version, involving Hu and Doh Noh: Bob Payne, "Hu's on First"

    To the outside observer, President Bush may have appeared to have handled his meetings in his recent trip to Japan, South Korea and China flawlessly. However, it can now be said: A great deal of preparation was necessary to pull this off. For one thing, the President had some difficulties focusing on all the strange names he would be encountering.

    Here's a blow-by-blow of the first briefing between him and Condoleezza Rice, the National Security Advisor, to prepare for the trip:

    Rice: Mr. President, I need to brief you on some of the key meetings on the trip. I thought we would start by identifying the names of the principal people you will be meeting.

    Bush: Good, Condi. Just be easy on me. You know how I struggle with foreign names.

    Rice: Yes, sir. In the meeting with Japanese Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi, you will be hearing a briefing from their Minister Inouye about the American troops stationing issues. Two days later our main focus will be on the meeting with South Korean President Kim Dae-Jung and their military chief, General Doh Noh. In China, you will be hearing a briefing from their Vice Chairman Hu on trade balance and World Trade Organization issues.

    Bush: I'm sorry, Condi. Those names just flashed right by. I'm not even sure I heard the names in fact.

    Rice (thinking): Mr. President, maybe there's an easy way to remember the order in which you'll meet them. Inouye will be first, Doh Noh second and Hu will be up third.

    Bush: Wait. Who's first?

    Rice: No sir. Hu's up third.

    Bush: That's that I want to find out. And who's up second?

    Rice (patiently): No, Hu's up third.

    Bush: I mean the fellow's name!

    Rice: Yes.

    Bush: The guy I meet second!

    Rice: Doh Noh.

    Bush: Why don't you? I thought you were trying to tell me who was up first.

    Rice: No, I wasn't. Hu is third.

    Bush: I certainly don't know!!

    Rice: He is up second!

    Bush: Who?

    Rice: The other guy.

    Bush: What other guy? The guy who's up first?

    Rice: No, Hu's on third.

    Bush: Now, suppose that I'm in this meeting. I've got to address him by his name of course. But I don't know who's the South Korean military Chief of Staff.

    Rice: You've almost got it, Mr. President. Doh Noh is the military chief. Hu is the Chinese Vice Chairman.

    Bush: "Don't know," you say, is the military chief?

    Rice: Now you understand.

    Bush: I don't even know that I'm talkin' about!

    Rice: Well, that's all you have to do.

    Bush: Is to meet I don't know who.

    Rice: Not Hu. Doh Noh.

    Bush: Don't know?

    Rice: Naturally!

    Bush: Who's the one?

    Rice: No, Hu's not the one. You've got to say, "Doh Noh."

    Bush: I just go up to the top general of the South Korean military, who looks up to us for their very survival. You want me to say, "Minister, don't know I'm pleased to meet you?"

    Rice: Naturally!

    Bush: He will won't be offended? He won't think I'm a few bamboo shoots shy of a thatched roof?

    Rice: Not at all. He'll be flattered, just like you sometimes are.

    Bush (retaining control): Condi, are you taping this conversation for some reason?

    Rice: No, sir. It may not be something we want to keep for your Presidential Library.

    Bush: So, then who's the one I'm meeting in Korea?

    Rice: Doh Noh. I'm telling you he is up second.

    Bush: You're telling me but you don't know?

    Rice: I do know! Doh Noh.

    Bush: What?

    Rice: That's the next trip, the ruins in Thailand.

    Bush: Condi, have you been sippin' somethin' this mornin'?

    Rice (thinking that might be a very good idea): No, sir. Now, of course we are considering signing the trade agreement at this meeting in China.

    Bush: Who signs the contract for China?

    Rice: Absolutely. Very good!

    Bush (slowly touching Rice on the shoulder): Wait! We need to make sure the right man gets credit for this to influence future events. Who gets the credit for this in China?

    Rice: All of it. Why not? The man's entitled to it.

    Bush: Who is?

    Rice: Yes. Although, I wouldn't be surprised if his assistant minister doesn't try to horn in on the glory.

    Bush: Whose assistant?

    Rice: Right.

    Bush: Just so I've got this clear, my side meetings are first with the Japanese minister on stationing American troops, then the Korean defense chief on joint military defense, then the Chinese Vice Chairman regarding trade. But I'm still not clear on their names. The Japanese minister --

    Rice: Inouye.

    Bush: "Either way," nothin'. I need to know the man's name. I think you're sportin' with me here. As for the Korean minister, your answer is --

    Bush (simultaneously with Rice): DON'T KNOW.

    Rice (simultaneously with Bush): DOH NOH.

    Bush: Maybe we can take a break from this, Condi.

    The National Security Advisor left the room and immediately was confronted by Secretary of State Colin Powell.

    Powell: How did it go?

    Rice (shaking her head): I don't know. Frankly, it could go either way, depending on who's up first.

    Powell: Wait. Hu's up third.

    Rice: Try telling the President that.
  2. Máscara Negra

    Máscara Negra Usuário

    Esse texto é muito bizarro, cara! Tive de enfiar a cara no travesseiro pra não acordar as pessoas aqui em casa! Quase não me aguento de rir! :lol: Muito massa!!!
  3. Omykron

    Omykron far above

    :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

    MAMUTE Usuário

    Nem ri mto, jah tinha lido :p nem qdo lia a primera veiz eu ri mto.. meio besta, sei lah.
    Bom, se eh real ou nao sei lah, mais q o Bush eh uma topera isso eh consenso hehehe alias, alguem aqui sabia q ele tem exatos 81 de QI?? impressionante, qse igual ao do Forrest Gump!!! eh qse um monga... comparando, ele eh o q tem o menor QI de todos os presidentes q jah passaram por lah, seguido pelo seu pai com 91 :p o maior era do Clinton.. nao lembro mais acho q era 130 e poco ou 140 :mrgreen:
  5. Sister Jack

    Sister Jack Usuário


    Eu to cagando de rir!!!!!!

  6. Sauron_Body

    Sauron_Body Usuário

    Ja tinha visto isso, mas num texto diferente, sobre beisebol...
  7. Círdan.

    Círdan. bastard

    Desculpem o flood mas..
    :lol: :lol: :lol:
    mto boa!
  8. NeoDeSampa

    NeoDeSampa Usuário

    hahaha. gostei..num ri tanto que nem vcs.... mas é bom pra descontrair..valeu
  9. Adri-Undómiel

    Adri-Undómiel Usuário

    É legalzinho até...mas nada q me faça rir durante 10min!!! :P :P
  10. Mycow

    Mycow Andúril

    Acho q todo mundo aki acordou!!!!!!!!!!!HUAHUAAHUAHUAHUAHUAHUAAHUAHUAHUA :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
    Mtooooooooooooooooo engracado HUAHUAAHUAHUAHUA :lol: :lol: :lol:
  11. Frøðø Baggins

    Frøðø Baggins Tricampeão mundial

    Já tinha visto! HUHUAHUH! é engraçado mesmo... :mrgreen:
  12. natytaia

    natytaia Usuário

    hehe, é engraçado, mas ataque de riso eu não tive não, só rí um pouquinho durante...
  13. Ungoliant

    Ungoliant Usuário


    eh tipo a piada do rainman, aquela do abbot e costello ha 500 anos atras hehehehehe

    falado fica mais engracado ainda uhauhauhauhauhau :lol:
  14. Gothic Legolas

    Gothic Legolas Usuário

    Sera que alguem pode traduzir? :lol:

    Tambem quero rir :D , sem ter que fazer um curso de ingles express!
  15. **Arwen**

    **Arwen** Usuário

    Muito engraçado sim.
    Nada que tenha me dado dor de barriga de tanto rir, mas gostei.

    Ah, Gothic_Legolas, infelizmente não dá pra traduzir não, já que a brincadeira do texto consiste na sonoridade das palavras em inglês. :mrgreen:
  16. Ungoliant

    Ungoliant Usuário

    da pra traduzir mais ou menos.

    Tipo, no caso ai em cima o Bush quer saber "quem eh o novo lider china". Soh que o nome do cara eh Quem (em ingles quem eh who e o nome do lider eh Hu, que se pronuncia igual). Entao o presidente pergunta que eh, dai respondem Quem e ele fala "mas eu to perguntando quem" e por ai vai... :mrgreen:
  17. Kruga

    Kruga Usuário

    É legal, mas eu num ri nem um pouco :?
    Nem um pouquinho mesmo...

    mas é legal.. sei lá, acho q ri mentalmente
  18. *Evenstar*

    *Evenstar* Usuário

    eu dei risada durante hahahah é mto loko o texto....
  19. NeoDeSampa

    NeoDeSampa Usuário

    engraçado...mas ri mentalmente assim como o kruga..fiz no maximo akel tsu ...quand o ar sai da boca...
  20. Kruga

    Kruga Usuário

    "tsu"... essa é boa...
    aqui tmb foi um tsu