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Screenplay para ADT

Tópico em 'O Senhor dos Anéis - os Filmes' iniciado por Linda Sacola, 17 Fev 2003.

  1. Linda Sacola

    Linda Sacola Usuário

    Gente eu tive q postar isso aqui é muito bom!
    O melhor é q é muito bem feito e consegue ser engraçado sem usar as coisinhas mais cliches de sempre como sexo para atrair o humor!
    Eu gostei muito espero q vcs tbm gostem!
    Isso foi publicado num jornal local dos Estados Unidos

    Scene 1
    Frodo: Darn! I still have this darned ring that I got in the first movie!

    Samwise: The ring with the terrible power that causes everyone who comes near it to over-act?

    Frodo: Yes! And to destroy it, we must walk, slowly in real time, all the way across New Zealand!

    Samwise: But who will guide us?

    Frodo: How about a reptilian computer-genertated creature with a bad comb-over?

    Samwise: Dick Cheney's in this movie?

    Gollum: Very funny, Hobbit-breath.

    Scene 2

    Lord Aragorn: Well, my two trusty companions-Legolas, the Strangely Tall Elf; and Gimli, the Comic Relief Dwarf-in our subplot, we are pursuing Merry and Pippin, who have been captured by Orcs, and now we find ourselves in the Kingdom of Rohan, ruled by King Theoden, whose daughter, Eowyn, will become my second love interest once the king is released from the spell cast by his trusted counselor, Grima Wormtongue, who is secretly in league with the evil wizard Saruman!

    Legolas: I have no idea what you're talking about.

    Lord Aragorn: Me, either. I'm just reading the script.

    Gimli: Well, I'm really short!


    Lord Aragorn: But enough explanatory dialogue. It's time for one of the estimated 17 big sword-clanging battles we have in this movie with hideous computer-genertated monsters who always outnumber us by the thousands, although we are corageous heroes!

    Legolas: Also, they have the hand-to-hand combat skills of alfalfa.

    Monsters: Arrrrrr.

    Swords: CLANG! CLANG! CLANG!

    Scene 3

    Merry: Well, Pippin, we escaped the Orcs, and now are being carried around by talking trees!

    Pippin: Apparently, the audience will swallow anything!

    Tree: It gets worse! Later on, we engage in branch-to-hand combat!

    Scene 4

    Monsters: Arrrrrr.

    Swords: CLANG! CLANG! CLANG!

    Scene 5

    Frodo: How come, if I'm the protagonist, Lord Aragorn has TWO love interests, and I'm stuck in a subplot with Dick Cheney?

    Gollum: Maybe it's because your big hairy feet make you look like you're wearing a pair of dead weasels.

    Scene 6

    Lord Aragorn: Well, Legolas and Gimli, with the help of Gandalf the White, formerly known as Gandalf the Grey, also known as Gandalf the Beige, we have defeated the Uruk-hai in a giant computer-genertated battle. Now we must make haste to the Really Big Rock of Karamnador, before the evil forces of Ba'Zoot, led by the evil King Weltpimple, conquer the Mullions of Gneep and obtain the Remote Control Unit of Doom!

    Legolas: Now you're just making stuff up.

    Lord Aragorn: Well, it's not as stupid as the kung fu trees.

    Gimli: I'm still short!


    Scene 7

    Frodo: UH-oh! The movie is over, and I still have this darned righ! Do you realize what this means?

    Samwise: That "Weasel Feet" would be a good name for a rock band?

    Frodo: Yes, as would "KungFu Trees" and "Combat Alfalfa." But, my point is that the forces of evil have been let loose upon the land, which means there soon will be...

    Samwise: No! Not that!

    Frodo: Yes. Another sequel.

    Monsters: Arrrrrr.