Melhores partes: essa...
quote:
5 DAYS LATER
The Fellowship arrives at the gates of Moria.
It s night and the river near them is calm and silent, as is the Fellowship.
The huge gate appears to have been drawed on the rocks of the huge mountains. The Fellowship is tired and hungry, they have hardly stopped for eating or sleeping.
RADAGAST: There s something written there.
GIMLI: It s the 3 riddles of the green parot.
BOROMIR: The what?
GIMLI: It s the three riddles that need to be solved so we can get inside.
LEGOLAS: Dwarves...
RADAGAST: Do you know how to solve it?
GIMLI: No. But the first riddle says: "Who am I if the hall is full of birds?".
ARAGORN: What does that mean?
GIMLI: I don t know. Aren t you Isildur s heir?
ARAGORN: Yes, what the fuck does that mean?
GIMLI: Aren t you suppose to be the smart ass?
BOROMIR: Wait, let s try to solve this thing. Who am I if the hall is full of birds?
RADAGAST: A bitch.
The gate unlocks. The doors open to reveal another gate.
GIMLI: You solved the first puzzle!
RADAGAST: How the fuck did I do that?
ARAGORN: I don t know, but keep it up.
GIMLI: This one says: "Two fathers and two sons went fishing. Each one got a fish. How many fish did they bring home?".
MERRY: I think I know the answer. Well, if there are two fathers, it s the grandfather and the father. The two sons are the father who s son of the grandfather and the father s son. So, the answer is...
RADAGAST: Slurp my butt.
The second gate unlocks. There s still one more gate...
GIMLI: Just one more.
PIPPIN: What does it read?
GIMLI: "Where am I if I m not here and the tomatoes are fresh?"
RADAGAST: I have no idea.
The Fellowship is still at the gates of Moria. They still can t solve the last puzzle.
ARAGORN: Where am I if I m not here and the tomatoes are fresh?
MERRY: It s pretty tough.
GIMLI: Aaaaah! Who cares!
Gimli pulls out a rocket launcher and shoots the door. An explosion opens a large hole on the gate.
LEGOLAS: That was certainly easier.
The Fellowship walks into the gates and into The Mines of Moria.
It s dark, wet, tall and rough. They walk through the mountain for a long time, stopping for eating and sleeping. They stop at the begining of a long hallway for resting.
The whole Fellowship is sitting and eating their food.
Radagast aproaches Pippin, who s sitting alone, far from the rest of the Fellowship. Radagast sits with him.
RADAGAST: So, how are you feeling?
PIPPIN: Fine.
RADAGAST: Really?
PIPPIN: Yes. Radagast, I saw something.
RADAGAST: What?
PIPPIN: A monster-like creature.
RADAGAST: Gollum. The motherfucker has been following us for 3 days.
PIPPIN: Gollum?
RADAGAST: Yes. Don t worry. He s harmless.
PIPPIN: I don t know.
RADAGAST: Pippin let me tell you a story. Just a little moral lesson. When I was living in the north, in Brooklynion, I had a friend that was a dealer. Nigger was dealing coke all over the fucking place. Some good shit. But I always told him: "Never deal coke with strangers". But the nigger didn t listen to me. Some people from the south came up to him and asked him to make a huge sale. Some big fucking deal. Son of a bitch was all happy about it, told me he was going to stop dealing after this last order. Guess what happened? The south people put a bullet up the nigger s ass and stole the merchandise. Get it?
PIPPIN: What s the moral lesson?
RADAGAST: Never deal coke with strangers.
PIPPIN: I don t deal coke.
RADAGAST: Who cares, nigger! I was just trying to tell you a goddamn story.
E essa...
quote:
FAR AWAY
Deriel sees the fire of the explosion coming on his direction.
DERIEL: I wish I was born a baby elephant.
Melhor personagem: Radagast
Pior personagem: Não sei.
Pior parte: Casa do Tom
Cena mais engraçada:
quote:
FAR AWAY
The Fellowship sees the fire of the explosion coming on their direction.
ARAGORN: Fuck, I can t die now, I still haven t had sex with Arwen!
GIMLI: I was born with only one ball.
LEGOLAS: I was born with no balls.
RADAGAST: I m not black, I just paint my face to look like Samuel L. Jackson.
PIPPIN: I m addicted to cocaine.
BOOK 1 ou 2: 2
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